Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Parental Outrage

There are some things that happen in this world that just shouldn't happen. Things that defy logic sometimes and leave one wondering, "what is going on in that person's mind?"

This past weekend, one of Sami's friends (and someone she values as a sister) was physically assaulted by her boyfriend. This cretin began with making insipid demands on her, then insulted her, then proceeded to strangle her and punched her in her pelvis when she tried to defend herself by kicking him in his private area. The girl was injured badly enough to be rushed to the hospital where she was treated for deep bruises to her vaginal area.

Here is where the story sounds sooooo familiar. She "loves" him and refuses to press assault and battery charges on him. The guy took off to Winfield to cool off and the next day, the girl drove up to Winfield to pick him up at a friend's house after he apologized tearfully and told her how much he loves her and it won't happen again.

This is also where Sami's safety was compromised. This girl, on the promise to Sami to spend quality time together and go out for a drive, took her all the way out to Winfield without bothering to tell Sami or anyone else where they were going. Sami was a little frightened because she didn't know where she was and couldn't contact me without alerting her friend. Furthermore, this girl knew that Sami was not allowed to be around this monster nor the friend he was with. Winfield is an hour's drive away, so Sami was no longer in control of her environment and safety. A very frightening scenario.

My anger has many facets right now. I would like to take that monster boyfriend and string him up by his privates over a pool of hungry crocodiles. However, crocodiles are endangered and I don't want to harm them with garbage. Therefore, let's stake him out over a very large ant hill inhabited with swarms of fire ants. Might need to take him to Texas for that, but I'm cool with it.

I'm also angry with Sami's friend for allowing herself to be so manipulated by this guy. Everyone has been telling her to get rid of him, that things will only get worse. Apparently, he has tried to strangle her before and she never told anyone. In addition, she expected Sami to lie for her and cover her actions. AND, she betrayed my trust in her to watch over my 15 year old child while they were out. When I texted her and told her of my upset and sense of betrayal, she lied to me and then brushed me off with a flip, "Whatever." She also betrayed Sami's trust by not telling her exactly where they were going until they were half way to Winfield. As a result of this excursion, Sami is forbidden from going anywhere with this girl unless either her mom or I are present. Sami is not the one in trouble, this girl is.

At the risk of sounding unChristian and cold-hearted, I'm really getting tired of this girl dragging us into her drama. She upsets her mother so badly that the poor woman sobs while at work. The mom calls me in tears and manages to choke out the latest outrage. I'm at a loss as to how to counsel her. My heart breaks for her - her daughter is her only child - and like most parents, she has big dreams for her. So do I for my kids. No parent should watch her child make these kinds of decisions and be abused, but that is what this woman is dealing with. Sami's friend doesn't realize how her actions literally paralyze those who care for her - including us. I'm to the point that I can't do any work unless Sami is in school. When she's home, she's running out the door and I'm chasing after her.

I keep praying that this girl will straighten up and fly right, but we all have heard the unhappy endings to these abuse situations. I truly hope this isn't her future. I'm asking all my readers who believe in prayer to please pray for this girl and for Sami. This is no example for Sami to have, although, she sees the abuse and knows it's unacceptable.