A Lesson Still Being Learned

I made a mistake today. Kind of a big one. And it's not the first time I've made this mistake. And I'm not the only person who has made this mistake before. Sadly, we are all guilty of this mistake. What's so aggravating is that I keep making this mistake. We all do.

The mistake is thinking that my problems are unique to me. Only me. No one else has my problems. I'm the exception. You can't possibly know what my problems are like.

While it's true that we can never know fully what another person is going through in life. "Walk a mile in my shoes," is often the mantra. None of us can know fully what another person's problems are. However, many problems are shared by many. Difficulty in paying bills, job troubles, marriage or relationship troubles, loneliness, health issues. The list goes on.

Previously, I discussed the issue of age discrimination. My question has been and is, "When did we become invisible? When did we become irrelevant?" I let my frustration upset me to the point of tears. For two days. My husband and son were ready to race me to the hospital for depression. Today, I woke up a bit better, but the situation hasn't changed.

At work today, I mentioned age discrimination with a co-worker, an African-American woman close to my age and, certainly, much wiser than me. She simply looked at me and told me that black men face discrimination and much worse on a daily basis. Being a white woman, she gently reminded me, I don't understand that the black community has been dealing with discrimination far longer. As she was speaking to me, I found myself resenting her statement. But this is age discrimination, not racial discrimination, I thought to myself. Why wouldn't she just let me vent? I can't pay my bills. Retirement dreams have long vanished. I'm not talking about skin color. I'm talking about feeling invisible.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Discrimination, on any basis, is discrimination. Feelings of hopelessness, being useless, tired of pounding your head against a wall - all of that plays into any kind of discrimination. "You can't be here because you're different." It doesn't matter if the difference is age, gender, skin color, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, or disability.

In an era of greater access to information, why is discrimination still so prevalent? Why is "different" still perceived as a threat?

Clearly, I have a lot to learn. But, then, don't we all.