A Lesson Still Being Learned

I made a mistake today. Kind of a big one. And it's not the first time I've made this mistake. And I'm not the only person who has made this mistake before. Sadly, we are all guilty of this mistake. What's so aggravating is that I keep making this mistake. We all do.

The mistake is thinking that my problems are unique to me. Only me. No one else has my problems. I'm the exception. You can't possibly know what my problems are like.

While it's true that we can never know fully what another person is going through in life. "Walk a mile in my shoes," is often the mantra. None of us can know fully what another person's problems are. However, many problems are shared by many. Difficulty in paying bills, job troubles, marriage or relationship troubles, loneliness, health issues. The list goes on.

Previously, I discussed the issue of age discrimination. My question has been and is, "When did we become invisible? When did we become irrelevant?" I let my frustration upset me to the point of tears. For two days. My husband and son were ready to race me to the hospital for depression. Today, I woke up a bit better, but the situation hasn't changed.

At work today, I mentioned age discrimination with a co-worker, an African-American woman close to my age and, certainly, much wiser than me. She simply looked at me and told me that black men face discrimination and much worse on a daily basis. Being a white woman, she gently reminded me, I don't understand that the black community has been dealing with discrimination far longer. As she was speaking to me, I found myself resenting her statement. But this is age discrimination, not racial discrimination, I thought to myself. Why wouldn't she just let me vent? I can't pay my bills. Retirement dreams have long vanished. I'm not talking about skin color. I'm talking about feeling invisible.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Discrimination, on any basis, is discrimination. Feelings of hopelessness, being useless, tired of pounding your head against a wall - all of that plays into any kind of discrimination. "You can't be here because you're different." It doesn't matter if the difference is age, gender, skin color, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, or disability.

In an era of greater access to information, why is discrimination still so prevalent? Why is "different" still perceived as a threat?

Clearly, I have a lot to learn. But, then, don't we all.

Age Discrimination is Real

A week ago last Sunday, The New York Times published an opinion piece written by Ashton Applewhite about ageism in the work place. The article hit a valid point; one I've been talking about for quite a few years.

As some of you may know, the last decent paying, full time job I had was 14 years ago as a technical writer for Enterprise Rent-a-Car. I was laid off due to department reorganization - the whole department was eliminated and quite a few of us were let go. I had an opportunity to accept a position in another department, but my immediate manager snatched the job out from under me. Surprisingly, I wasn't angry about it. Enterprise never was a good fit for me anyway, so I waved goodbye and wished karma on my manager. I was foolishly confident that I would land another job quickly.

Since then, I've worked retail, went back to school to earn my bachelor's degree, and took care of my family. I applied for work in my field during this time and turned up dry. I suspected ageism while in college when the "kids" didn't want me on their advertising team. I tried to speak to my professors (most of whom were my age) and they carefully avoided the topic. When I applied for an internship with Maryland Heights Government Center, I was asked, "What are you doing back in school?" As if I wasn't allowed to go back and refresh my skills? Obviously, I didn't get that internship.

Working at Macy's, I meet all sorts of people; among which are older workers. Conversations I've had with fellow employees and customers further confirms the age discrimination practice. Recently, I met a couple who were forced out of their jobs and take early retirement because they were "too old." What was their occupation? Accountants.

Age discrimination is not only illegal, it's just plain wrong. The younger workers need and will benefit from the wisdom and experience of the older workers. Just because I won't get my nose pierced, dye my hair green, or get all tatted up isn't a measure of my skills as a writer. I can easily dance circles around any of those young kids, yet I am ignored because I was born during the Kennedy Administration.

I believe, in this era of economic uncertainty, my fellow older, displaced workers need to open up their own businesses. Yes, start a business and hire only older workers. No one under 30 need apply. The businesses may very well succeed. We have the know-how. We have the experience. We are savvy enough to make it work. Trouble of it all is . . . we would be practicing the very thing that put us out on the unemployment line. And it would be illegal.