A Memorable Memorial Day

Memorial Day is, indeed, a special day set aside to remember those who have sacrificed so much so that we can be free. We honor those with parades, special tributes and ceremonies. Years ago, my young son participated with his Cub Scout troop in placing flags on the solders' graves at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery. This had particular meaning to him because his grandfather (my father) was buried there. We don't know if Jack put a flag on his grandpa's grave or not, but I'm sure my dad would have counted it as so.

This year, my daughter, Sami, participated along with the Ritenour High School Color Guard and Marching Band, in the National Memorial Day Parade in Washington, DC. To say this was a once in a lifetime opportunity is an understatement. Each of the kids scraped and sweated to earn every dime to pay for the trip. Some of these kids are seniors and had just celebrated their graduation ceremony last week. This trip also represented Sami's first ever trip out of state. I wanted so badly to come with her, but I couldn't come up with the money to pay for both of us. It was all she could do to earn the money for herself.

Ritenour High School Marching Band was invited to participate in the National Memorial Day Parade by Missouri Representative Lacy Clay. That by itself is pretty impressive. What I found out tonight was that Ritenour beat out about 15 other Missouri schools for this incredible honor. Not only that, Ritenour represented ALL of Missouri - no other Missouri schools were in the parade. Ritenour students showed their state and school pride by putting on an awesome performance for the whole country to see.

I'm so proud of all of them, and especially, of Sami. Great job guys!

Somebody Stop the World - I Want to Get Off Here!

 

I don't know about everyone else, but my head has been spinning for about three weeks and it doesn't look like it will be stopping very soon. Coming up with blog topics and timely ones has been a challenge. It's certainly not for lack of material. Here we go:

The world has witnessed a royal wedding with it's share of controversy (a lavish royal wedding in the middle of a severe economic recession), the queen's two granddaughters showing all of us that even royals can only have taste in their mouths, and lots of reminiscing over the Prince's late mother's wedding. My personal opinion on the whole thing is this - quit your complaining already. The wedding was rather played down compared to Charles and Diana's wedding some 30 years ago. Kate's dress was spot-on as far as I was concerned. Princess Beatrice and her sister, Princess Eugenie, showed the world expensive tastelessness. They were probably irked because Mum wasn't invited the the nuptials and decided to be the tacky relations. Get over it - we all have people like that in our families.

Then there's Osama bin Laden. Frankly, I'm glad this monster is dead. Am I morally conflicted over feeling happiness over his demise? Not really. He didn't lose any sleep over killing 3,000 innocent Americans who were no threat to him. He was clearly a threat to the rest of the world. Fail to see a problem here. However, if I have to endure another analysis of his life, his favorite videos, or his favorite sub-machine gun, I swear I'm going to scream. The monster is dead - let's move on.

Now, my personal life has been even more eventful. In a matter of days, we celebrated mine and my husband's 21st wedding anniversary, my son's 20th birthday, Mother's Day, Valley of the Flowers Parade in which Ritenour Color Guard marched, and my 49th birthday. In the middle of all this "happiness," however, we also lost my only living uncle. He was 87 when he died. Emotional rollercoaster? You could say that. The agenda isn't finished yet. My son just had his final exams, my daughter is preparing for her final exams and practicing for the National Memorial Day march in Washington DC in just two weeks.

With all of this going on, I really haven't had a chance to absorb anything. Even my daughter told me today that she still hasn't had a moment to mourn her great-uncle's death.

This is sad. The world really needs to slow down a bit so we can get off.

My Ramblings on Free Speech, Politics, and Responsibility

Yesterday at a Tuscon supermarket, Arizona Democratic Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot while speaking to the public about her efforts to serve them in Congress. Twenty people were injured and six were killed in an unspeakable shooting rampage by what appears to be a mentally unstable man, Jared Loughner. A 9-year-old child who was developing an interest in politics was among those killed. The irony of her death is that she was born on 9/11/01. The question a lot of people are asking, is why?

There is some debate on whether the hostile political rhetoric that has been making headlines could be partly to blame. Sarah Palin's website with gunsights on a map of areas she wanted to take aim at changing is especially scary and, no doubt, a public relations nightmare for the Palin camp.

Political vitriol is nothing new in this country. Our history books tell us many stories about brawls in the Senate and duels between politicians. Early 19th century American history was rife with angry discord over states' rights, slavery, a national bank, and foreign affairs. Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, John C. Calhoun, and Andrew Jackson were all political figures who drew fire and made their own fire during their time in office. However, we are modern day America now. Bloody Island is merely a historic footnote and our senators and representatives, supposedly, know better than to start fist fights while in office.

Free speech is a wonderful thing and should be fiercely protected. However, with all freedoms, comes responsibility. Sarah Palin could have made her point just as effectively by not giving her stamp of approval on the graphic image of gun sights on a map of districts she wanted to change. Push pins, American flags, butterflies, whatever. But no, she chose something very dramatic, disturbing and implied violence. I am not saying Palin is directly responsible for Loughner's actions. No, Loughner made his decisions based on whatever logic he was using at the time.

Americans are angry right now. We are all hurting. But our political leaders, locally and nationally, need to bear in mind that words have impact and we need to be responsible for them. I am begging our public servants to please do what you are supposed to be doing - representing the people and our country. Shootouts in Tuscon are not the answer. But blockading policies that may possibly help our country just because you can isn't an answer either.

Frankly, Palin and the Tea Party have always scared me. Her ability to whip people in to a froth is both frightening and borderline illegal. It is illegal in this country to incite riots. Palin can stand up and say whatever she wants - that's protected speech. But getting the public riled up is quite another. I really believe she is not directly responsible for this shooting, but I also hope that her political future is toast after this.

Introducing . . . . Miss Octane

Never in my life would I have thought I would write anything praising a creature I have long feared. I truly love a lot of animals - dogs, cats, horses, gerbils, hamsters, and all baby critters in the zoo. I could probably get used to frogs and lizards, but it would be a stretch. However, as far as dogs are concerned, there are three breeds that always frightened me almost to a panic-stricken paralysis. Those three have been Rottweilers, Dobermans, and Pit Bulls. I have known people who have owned each of these dogs and they have always sworn to the breed's gentle nature, "just a big couch potato," and anything else to convince me that I'm buying into a myth. Of course, this argument loses a lot of steam when at a later time, the dog in question has to be put down because it got loose and bit someone. Hmm, yea, I'm really convinced now.

However, a few weeks ago, I met a lovely young puppy of about 8 months old and her name is Octane. Miss Octane is a pure bred Pit Bull Terrier. Her owners are our neighbors and they, wait for it, swear to the pit bull breed's gentle nature and that some people just don't treat these dogs right. Yea, I know better, right?

The first time I came over to their house since they got the dog, I was braced for angry barking (pit bulls are territorial dogs by nature and breeding) and expecting my neighbor to wrestle with the dog to keep it from lunging at me. Not the case at all. I walked through the door and was immediately greeted by a beautiful tan dog with a white chest who calmly walked up to me, sniffed my fingers and looked up at me with soulful brown eyes. Her expression was all puppy, "will you play with me?" She uttered no sound at all - not even a growl. After she gave all my fingers a thorough sniff, she proceeded to lick my hands and then moved to sniff a few other areas that all dogs like to sniff (never mind where). I couldn't believe what I saw. Octane decided that I needed a more proper greeting and jumped up on me to say hello. Standing on her hind legs, she came about even with my chin. (I'm 5'3" tall or short.)

I bravely scratched her behind her soft, velvety ears and we became instant friends. She loved having her chin rubbed and laid down on the couch for a tummy rub. As my neighbor and I visited, I watched Octane and how she interacted with my daughter who was already there hanging out with a friend. My daughter knew not to take off her shoes for a good reason - Octane likes to chew on bare feet. She also likes shoes, but apparently bare feet are more fun. 

When the princess would get off the couch, she would do it in phases. She would lift her upper part of her body and place her front paws on the floor, stretching out as far as she could go without having to move the lower half of her body from its original place on the couch. Octane is also very effective in letting you know when she wants attention. She jumps on your lap and pushes you out of your seat. She also puts her big head in your lap - a huge surprise for a breed known for fighting.

Octane is still a baby, but she has already won over my heart. I don't know if she is truly an example of the real nature of pit bulls or if she's just a very submissive personality; but I told her that she's giving pit bulls a bad rep. I don't think of her as a pit bull - she's a pit diva. And I think she knows it too.

I'm still afraid of pit bulls as a breed; however, Octane is too sweet to be feared. For more information on pit bulls, visit United Kennel Club's web site - http://www.ukcdogs.com/WebSite.nsf/Breeds/AmericanPitBullTerrierRevisedNovember12008

Reflections

There are many milestones in a child's life that remind the parents that their baby is growing up: rolling over, walking, riding a bike without training wheels, first day of school, first date, and the chiller - learning how to drive.

This weekend I took some time to teach both my kids how to drive. My 19-year-old son is taking his time with this and I really should be thankful. The insurance costs would have killed me if his driving didn't. My 15-year-old daughter is more than ready and has been backing the car down the driveway for almost a year now. She keeps pushing the line by edging the van closer and closer to the street.

Our first foray into the world of automotive independence was a good one. While both kids joked around about wanting to zoom down the empty Northwest Plaza parking lot at 80 miles per hour, spinning donuts and trying to run over each other, they did very well. I really believe they both will be very responsible drivers. Of course, I still have to restart my heart whenever Sami says, "10 points for every pedestrian I hit!"

Crab Grass

No one can look at my front yard and exclaim, "Oh my, I saw that yard in Better Homes and Gardens!" In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I even suggested my yard be featured in any magazine, it might be Better Weeds and Dumpsites. I never claimed to be a gardener, even when I actually try. I really admire those dedicated gardeners who cultivate an oasis around their homes. Gardening is truly a talent.

Today I was weeding my weed garden which had successfully choked out any sign of floral life that Jack and I placed in it this past spring. The crab grass has literally taken over my pink iris to the point you can't even find the iris leaves. When I pull on a vine of this nasty stuff, it keeps going for about one or two feet before it finally breaks. It has so entwined itself with my moss rose plants, that I can't pull out the crab grass without taking the moss rose with it.

Crab grass, known in botany circles as digitaria, is actually found in most areas of the world. I don't think it's growing in the Arctic Circle, though. I really do believe that crab grass is more than just a weed. It's the curse of the Devil. Call me crazy, but who else could come up with something that is almost impossible to kill, keeps growing no matter what the weather (drought kills everything else but this stuff), and seems to have no pests to feed on it? I've pulled out enough of this stuff to wrap around the world twice!

Sometimes I come across a sprout of crab grass and start to pull on it. It won't budge. I often wonder how deep these roots go. From what I have found, the roots are rather shallow. I really don't believe this. I, frankly, believe the roots go straight to the other side of the world. There is probably some poor farmer pulling on the same crab grass weed that I am and we are having a tug of war.

Some scientists predict that roaches will survive a nuclear holocaust. I think we should add crab grass to this list too.

A Message for My Readers

I've been told that my blog is revealing too much information about my family and events that I thought would be okay to share. Since this is creating problems within my family, I will no longer blog like I have before. I'll still post things out here, but not in the depth I have in the past.

I always review my content with family members before I post, but apparently, this isn't enough. Therefore, until I can find something to talk about that won't offend anyone, I won't be posting for awhile.

I hope you have enjoyed my previous blogs - my goal has always been to inform and entertain. I'm very proud of my family - that's why I talk about them. My wish has been to have my readers enjoy my family as much as I do.

Thank you.

Wrapping Up Summer 2010

Wow! This summer has zipped by faster than any I can remember. Maybe because my kids didn't have time to be bored. Maybe because I was so busy I didn't have time to notice any boredom. Whatever. Tomorrow marks the first day of school for Ritenour students and I'm relieved. Now the days will have more structure and less "fly by the seat of my pants" feel to them.

Jack didn't do much this summer. He is now officially accepted at Florissant Valley Community College and will finally begin his degree program in computer engineering. He's taking baby steps to this, but it beats sitting in his room all the time playing video games.

Sami, on the other hand, kept me so busy that I barely had time to see my husband and son. She finished summer school with passing grades and went directly into Color Guard practice. We just found out that Ritenour band and color guard have been invited to march in next year's Memorial Day parade in Washington DC. So now the intense fund raising efforts begin. Sami needs $650 to be able to go and we don't have the money. They have already had two car washes and haven't raised a tremendous amount. They will be having pizza sales later and that promises to be a big draw. In the meantime, Sami is looking for odd jobs to bring in money. She has spent the summer walking a dog for an elderly lady and also helping clean her house.

Girl Scout Gold Award Update

It looks like Sami will be painting a mural on the wall of a building located in downtown Overland to be a scenic backdrop for the newly built Erickson Plaza. Ritenour art students are supposed to help with this project, but Sami needs to submit drawings to the art teacher in charge. She also has to present these ideas to the mayor and Overland Business Association. Pretty intimidating, but I know she can do it. Another girl in her troop will be taking an adjacent wall for her Gold Award project as well. Hopefully, the girls will be in sync with their drawings. The whole project is pretty daunting.

Will post updates as the project comes along.


Summer 2010 - Part 2

Sami made a new friend this summer. Well, actually, they have known each other since Sami started dating Trent. The girl is one of Trent's sisters. Tonya came to St. Louis to visit with her dad and I took the girls out to the Butterfly House and the Magic House. They both had a ball. Any awkward feelings between them (Sami and Trent are no longer dating) vanished when they went into the Magic House. I never saw two girls have more fun. Sami had a few "Lucy" moments (Lucy Ricardo of "I Love Lucy") like crashing into a mirrored wall in a funhouse maze and pressing her face into a peg board only to have her upper torso also press through to the other side.

On the way to the Magic House, I took the girls to Kirkwood Farmer's Market to look at the fresh boys, um, produce. Yea, produce, not boys. Produce.

I'm not sure how long this friendship will last since Tonya lives with her mom in Oregon, but they seem to get along great and Tonya is such a terrific girl. Only time will tell if this friendship is meant to be.

Wave goodbye to Summer 2010 and say hello to a new school year. Hope Sami and Jack make it a good one.

Parental Outrage

There are some things that happen in this world that just shouldn't happen. Things that defy logic sometimes and leave one wondering, "what is going on in that person's mind?"

This past weekend, one of Sami's friends (and someone she values as a sister) was physically assaulted by her boyfriend. This cretin began with making insipid demands on her, then insulted her, then proceeded to strangle her and punched her in her pelvis when she tried to defend herself by kicking him in his private area. The girl was injured badly enough to be rushed to the hospital where she was treated for deep bruises to her vaginal area.

Here is where the story sounds sooooo familiar. She "loves" him and refuses to press assault and battery charges on him. The guy took off to Winfield to cool off and the next day, the girl drove up to Winfield to pick him up at a friend's house after he apologized tearfully and told her how much he loves her and it won't happen again.

This is also where Sami's safety was compromised. This girl, on the promise to Sami to spend quality time together and go out for a drive, took her all the way out to Winfield without bothering to tell Sami or anyone else where they were going. Sami was a little frightened because she didn't know where she was and couldn't contact me without alerting her friend. Furthermore, this girl knew that Sami was not allowed to be around this monster nor the friend he was with. Winfield is an hour's drive away, so Sami was no longer in control of her environment and safety. A very frightening scenario.

My anger has many facets right now. I would like to take that monster boyfriend and string him up by his privates over a pool of hungry crocodiles. However, crocodiles are endangered and I don't want to harm them with garbage. Therefore, let's stake him out over a very large ant hill inhabited with swarms of fire ants. Might need to take him to Texas for that, but I'm cool with it.

I'm also angry with Sami's friend for allowing herself to be so manipulated by this guy. Everyone has been telling her to get rid of him, that things will only get worse. Apparently, he has tried to strangle her before and she never told anyone. In addition, she expected Sami to lie for her and cover her actions. AND, she betrayed my trust in her to watch over my 15 year old child while they were out. When I texted her and told her of my upset and sense of betrayal, she lied to me and then brushed me off with a flip, "Whatever." She also betrayed Sami's trust by not telling her exactly where they were going until they were half way to Winfield. As a result of this excursion, Sami is forbidden from going anywhere with this girl unless either her mom or I are present. Sami is not the one in trouble, this girl is.

At the risk of sounding unChristian and cold-hearted, I'm really getting tired of this girl dragging us into her drama. She upsets her mother so badly that the poor woman sobs while at work. The mom calls me in tears and manages to choke out the latest outrage. I'm at a loss as to how to counsel her. My heart breaks for her - her daughter is her only child - and like most parents, she has big dreams for her. So do I for my kids. No parent should watch her child make these kinds of decisions and be abused, but that is what this woman is dealing with. Sami's friend doesn't realize how her actions literally paralyze those who care for her - including us. I'm to the point that I can't do any work unless Sami is in school. When she's home, she's running out the door and I'm chasing after her.

I keep praying that this girl will straighten up and fly right, but we all have heard the unhappy endings to these abuse situations. I truly hope this isn't her future. I'm asking all my readers who believe in prayer to please pray for this girl and for Sami. This is no example for Sami to have, although, she sees the abuse and knows it's unacceptable.

Sami's Girl Scout Gold Award - The Process Begins . . .

Sami's status as a 15-year-old is getting rather confusing. She is a freshman in high school, but a senior in Girl Scouts. She's also approaching young womanhood and leaving her girlhood behind, so is she really a Girl Scout or a Young Lady Scout? Okay, maybe I'm nitpicking here.

One of the things that the young ladies in Girl Scouts work on is the Girl Scout Gold Award. This is the highest award and honor that a Girl Scout can earn. She must be at least 15 and a registered Girl Scout, and, I think, have earned her Silver Award. Sami seamlessly earned her Silver Award last year with her previous troop working on a bird sanctuary in one of the Girl Scout camps. It was lovely and all the girls worked hard on it.

The Gold Award is going to be a completely different story. I promised Sami I would chronicle her progress here on my blog, so prepare to be entertained (I hope).

A few weeks ago, she and I attended the Gold Award workshop to learn how she should go about earning this award. The three-hour workshop was the most grueling session I have ever attended. I'm sure the ladies who put together the presentation put a lot of thought into it, but really, they made it more complicated than it needed to be. Sami was so overwhelmed, she broke down and cried.

The seminar started out pleasantly enough. The girls each found their seats after registering, some of them from the same troop. Sami was the only one from her troop, so she didn't know anyone there. That's never a problem for Sami, as my family and friends all know. Before long, she was chatting it up with the two other girls at her table as though she had known them her whole life - Yep, that's my girl. She must get it from her Irish ancestors.

The presenters were two women who, near as I could tell, must have never given a presentation before. Please forgive my business snobbery here, but I've done enough presentations to recognize a newbie. These ladies not only bounced around in the slide show, thus losing most of us adults in the back of the room, they bounced around in their lecture as well. One Girl Scout leader sitting next to me quickly gave up trying to take notes and looked very frustrated.

Midway through the presentation, they had an icebreaker. Why they waited until this point to do this is anyone's guess. Sami enjoyed the icebreaker and at that time, traded e-mails and phone numbers with her table partners. (Her Irish grandfather would have been so proud.)

The rest of the session was more confusing with each slide and this was when Sami broke down and cried. Not hysterical sobbing - that's not Sami's way, but quiet tears rolling down her cheeks. No one stepped forward to help her calm down until break time when I went to her to see if she was okay. I knew she needed help and I asked one of the presenters if Sami could just have a printout of the slide show. They said she had all the information in her possession and didn't need the slides. Trying to calm her down, I whispered to her that I would go over everything when we got home. I was thinking that passing the health care reform bill in Congress would be easier than this mess.

When we got home, Sami put down all the material she gathered from the workshop and just walked away from it. I think if it spontaneously combusted, she wouldn't be upset. A few days later I reviewed the material and placed an call to her Scout leader. The two of us talked about what her first step should be and we boiled down everything to more manageable steps for her. We found that this process wasn't as bad as presented and if Sami stayed focused on the small, baby steps, she could get it accomplished without too much trouble. Her leader pointed out to her that she already began several of the steps without even knowing it. We assured her that all was going to be okay.

She feels better about this now and began discussing ideas for her project just the other day. I think we have begun.

High School, Special Needs Students, and Winning a Game

Recently, media sports departments across St. Louis have been heralding the unbelievable winning shot by a special school district student at a Kirkwood High School basketball game. Now this story grabs my attention on several levels - let me explain.

Kirkwood High School is my alma mater - I'm class of 1980 - so, of course, I'm proud that Kirkwood had a good game. It's great that this young man's shot won the game - no doubt. I think it's wonderful that Kirkwood and the basketball team welcomed and nurtured this young man to realize his dream. This brings tears to my eyes and makes me believe that there are good people out there - especially in my old high school. The news media hasn't really mentioned David Stillman's special needs; there really isn't any reason to. David clearly had all the support and then some to overcome whatever those needs were. His family and teammates are all very proud of him - and they should be.

My son has Aspbergers Syndrome. When he entered Ritenour, he wanted to try out for the swim team. The athletic director encouraged it. I spoke to the swim coach who also encouraged Jack to try out. While Jack is socially awkward out of the water, in the water he is a totally different kid. Or at least he used to be. He tried for a week to pass all the tests for the team and didn't make it. A couple of the boys teased him. The coach pretty much informed me that she didn't have time for him. The other members of the team seemed supportive but nothing much more came of it. Jack never went back. I placed him in classes at a public pool in St. Ann, hoping to improve his strength, stamina and confidence. The instructors there didn't want to waste their time with him either. Jack has never been back to a pool since.

I hope the Stillman family knows just how fortunate they are to have such a supportive environment for David. This young man will always treasure his great accomplishment for the rest of his life. I wish I could say the same for Jack. I don't know why Ritenour would not help him more. Kirkwood is a wealthier school district than Ritenour, but that's no excuse to discourage the efforts of a special needs child. Jack just wanted to be a part of something and was denied the chance. David became a part of Kirkwood history because someone gave him a chance.

Congratulations David on a great game.

New Year's Eve and the Decade

I'm not so sure I like this title, but I'll go with it for now. Happy New Year everyone!

Everyone and his brother is looking back on the past year and the past 10 years, so I will throw in my version of this decade. Here goes . . .

2000 - Y2K, yes, we survived the "end of the world as we know it" scenario that was bandied about all the previous year. Glad that ended peacefully. Somewhere in this time frame (my memory is a little fuzzy here, so forgive me), didn't the Rams win the Superbowl? Didn't Big Mac smash Musial's batting record too? I may be off by a year or so, but I remember thinking, "What a way to start off a new century!" My little girl was in preschool and my little boy was in 2nd grade and had a horrible crush on his pretty teacher. I remember he wanted to change his name to "Chuck." I found out that was the name of the pretty teacher's boyfriend. I had just been promoted to technical writer at Enterprise Rent-a-Car and was making a pretty good salary. Things with Big Jack were difficult but we were getting by and finally getting bills under control.

2001 - 9/11 changed everything and the world will never, ever be the same again. My young son saw a plane in the air one morning and asked me if that was one of our planes or an enemy plane. A 3rd grade boy shouldn't have to worry about such things. Ever since, I had nightmares about a plane crashing into the school where my children were. We live only a few miles from Lambert Airport - it could happen.

2002 - I got laid off from Enterprise Rent-a-Car due to reorganization. It came as no surprise, I had long felt that the technical writing department had outlived its purpose. I miss a few people I worked with there, but not a lot. Enterprise gave me the leg up to start my education and begin a career I had been talking about for a long time. A few months after Enterprise, I began a retail job at Michaels. I thought I would only do it for a few months until something better came along. Little did I know I would be the event coordinator for Michaels for three years. I came out of the job stronger than when I went in - I learned how to manage projects and run my own department. That was something I never believed I could do before. The pay was deplorable, but the experience was valuable.

2004 - I began the year by enrolling at Webster University to begin my bachelor's degree in advertising/marketing communications. The kids thought it was really cool that Mom was in college. My young daughter asked me after I came home from my first night in class, "Mommy, did you make any new friends in school?" It would be a long time before I actually made any friends at Webster, but now I can say, yes, I believe I made some friends. My young son was in middle school and found the transition from elementary school to middle school was too difficult. He had to be placed in a special classroom for students with learning issues. My husband's mental and physical health continued to deteriorate.

2005 - Around this time (exact year is irrelevant), we found that Big Jack's father had Alzheimer's. My mother fell down her basement steps and broke her neck. After much physical therapy, she was able to come home but we soon moved her out of her house and into an independent senior living apartment complex. Her downward spiral had only just begun. I quit Michaels to take care of her.

2006 - My son was in high school and my daughter was in middle school. Jack's time in high school would always be a struggle. Sami started out with a bang - honor roll and student government and then the downward spiral began in 2008.

2009 - This year had bad year written all over it. Big Jack lost two uncles early in the year and it wasn't long before his father's physical health would rapidly deteriorate and Jim would pass away just before Thanksgiving. Big Jack had a mental and physical breakdown over the summer that eventually lead to a complete overhaul of all his medications. He is doing much better now - he's in counseling and has lost 100 pounds so far. Things are slowly looking better for him. Sami had an emotional meltdown that landed her in Edgewood. Counseling hasn't been much help, but involvement with a different Girl Scout troop, her high school color guard team, and some horseback riding seem to be helping her adjust to her new surroundings. She began high school this year and it's been a tough transition.

Jack finally graduated from high school - a little late. He is having trouble making the transition to "adult" life where he makes his own decisions. The sour economy hasn't helped his outlook, nor mine since it looks like I will be graduating in the spring of next year. Unemployment is the worst its been since the 80's and I remember those awful days. A bright spot in all of this gloom - the country elected its first black president, Barack Obama. It's too soon to tell if he's an effective leader.

I finished two internships - one at Veteran's Administration and another at Press Club of Metropolitan St. Louis. Both internships were great experiences and I hope they will lead to jobs soon. Thanks to the wonderful social networking web site, Facebook, I am getting to know my husband's family members in Alabama that I would never had gotten to know otherwise. I had originally scoffed at such silliness as Facebook and MySpace, but now I'm an avid user of FB. MySpace is too young for me and Twitter is just plain annoying. Also, I am finishing the year with a completed collection of family recipes that have been received with great enthusiasm.

My outlook for 2010 has been it can't get much worse. Actually, it could but I don't really want to go there. Every year I try to think positive about the upcoming new year. So I'll continue to do just that. God Bless everyone in the coming year! Happy New Year!

Christmas 2009

We got through our first Christmas without Jack's dad, Jim. It was tough but we made it. There was no large family gathering like usual - it was just too soon. Mom didn't even want to put up a tree or send out Christmas cards. Most family members didn't send out cards this year. We tried to keep up with some traditions - sending cards, big meal and some decorations, but it was still not quite the same. We had several family movie nights. Seemed to help.

I threw myself into the final preparations of the family cookbook and got it printed out for an amazing price. The cookbook was received well and now I'm getting requests to print more copies. Pretty cool feeling.

I baked up a storm as well - I haven't baked this many cookies in years - chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin apple, chocolate crinkles, sugar cookies shaped as candy canes, and gingerbread men complete with cinnamon red hot belly buttons. I didn't bake quick breads this year - just wasn't really motivated.

Sami decorated the house for Christmas, but she kept it subdued. She did a great job as usual. Today she is taking down the decorations. Seems a little early to me, but if she wants to do it, I'll let her. I think she just wants to keep moving forward.

I want to believe the worst is over, but we still need to get through Jim and Irene's wedding anniversary in February, and Jim's birthday and Father's Day both in June. I know we will make it, but some days are harder than others. It helps to know we have the support of our friends and other family members. Sami's scout leader checked in on us Christmas evening and a fellow parishioner stopped by this morning (during a snow storm) to give us Communion.

I'm proud to say we got through this first Christmas. We will get through the next one and the next one after that and each one will get a little easier - or not. But with faith in God, we will get through it.

James M. Alexander, Sr. (1921 - 2009)

Beloved husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather

This morning my father-in-law passed away quietly in his home of over 60 years with his wife and his children at his side. He had been in failing health for a long time, so the slow journey has come to an end and Jim is in a better place.

Jim was adored by his six children - especially by my husband, who truly believed his father was invincible. Jim only had a high school education, but he could master mechanics as well as any MIT graduate. He worked for McDonnell Douglas for most of his life and performed job duties that today require a masters degree in engineering. Jim and my uncle both built fighter jets for Mac and we sometimes joke that both men would occasionally let other people help too, if they asked nicely.

Jim enjoyed woodworking. He made a beautiful wooden cradle for his grandson, Ben. He also made an ornate clock which still hangs in the living room. He taught my husband his love for woodworking; but sadly, due to my husband's illness, Jack cannot pursue it any longer.

He also enjoyed cars. He didn't want me stranded on the road, so he showed me how to put oil and radiator fluid in my car. Bless his heart, he would try to explain car mechanics to me only to see my eyes glaze over. Now that my minivan is acting up, it would be nice to hear his opinion on what could be wrong.

Jim was very much a family man. I don't think he ever regarded himself as anything else. He married young - as far as I know, Irene was the only girl he ever went with. Jim and Irene met through Irene's brother, Jack, and the rest is history. A love story that spanned 67 years.

Jim is survived by his wife, six children, 15 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

God Bless You, Dad. We will miss you. You will live in our hearts forever.

Two Pieces of News This Week

First, I think I will address the subject that made the headlines just a few days ago. Michele Obama was seen in the Grand Canyon (in Arizona - I tell this for a reason) in, gasp, SHORTS! Is it really such a slow news day that multiple media outlets need to devote space and time to this subject? Really? First of all, anyone who has been to the Grand Canyon IN ARIZONA (I have so I know exactly what I'm talking about) knows that it is HOT. It would be really bizarre for the First Lady to go hiking in the Grand Canyon in a business suit and stylish 3-inch pumps. The woman was going hiking, for crying out loud people! Furthermore, the Grand Canyon is not paved. It is rocky terrain - hence that's why it's called a canyon. IN ARIZONA!

In addition to my geographical tirade, I wish to remind certain Puritanical prudes that Mrs. Obama has pretty nice looking legs. My legs used to look that good, but the varicose and spider veins have taken over and, well, let's say Burmuda shorts and skimmers are my style now. Along with the shapely legs comes another reminder - we no longer live in Victorian-era USA. This is the 21st century, people, and a woman's exposed legs are hardly shocking any more. Please get over it. By the way, whose legs would you rather see hiking the Grand Canyon, Mrs. Obama's or John McCain's? Think about it.

The second article is about obsolete technology. I so love this subject. I love blowing my kids' minds with recollections of the days before remote controlled television, microwaves, and cell phones. The author talks about all the technology and I actually remember and that's really scary. We still have a VCR, but it's a VCR/DVD combo. We still have VHS tapes but they are getting brittle with age and we are slowly replacing them with DVDs. Trouble is, the Blue Ray thingy is coming out and making the DVD obsolete. We can't win!

Yes, I was reminded of the C prompt - amazing how I forgot it at all. I guess it was such a pain that I didn't really miss it.

The paragraph on TV reception brought a bit of an argument from me. I don't like the digital signals. Not because I'm against the technology, but we can't get a good signal. We never had this problem with classic analog broadcast. Now whenever there's a storm in the area, you can forget watching anything (even the severe weather warnings) on the TV. The way the system is set up now, the only way I'll know if a tornado is in the area is when my roof flies off my house. Not a good feeling.

My 87-year-old mother nearly keeled over in a heart attack when I told her I no longer remember how to operate a typewriter. Now, keep in mind, I learned how to type on a manual typewriter when Jimmy Carter was in the White House. Selectric typewriters were quickly becoming the latest technology and when I graduated from Kirkwood High School in 1980, memory writers were becoming the latest and greatest. Now that my PC does everything for me, a typewriter gathers dust on the shelf. Actually, I don't even own one, but my mother did until she gave it away to her 88-year-old sister. I think typewriters won't completely go away just yet. Some forms need to be filled in by type, although this is quickly being replaced with Adobe's features that allow the user to fill in the blanks and print the form.

Even as you read this, something technological is being advanced or killed off. Such is the evolution of our modern world.

Politics, Opinions, and Freedom of Expression

Throughout the last Presidential election and since the election, I have received numerous e-mails from well-meaning friends and family members about how our country is headed straight for a socialist agenda, the new health care bill will enforce euthanasia on our senior citizens, and all sorts of other "end of the world as we know it" predictions. I can't count how many e-mails have pointed the invisible finger of blame on those who voted for our current president and how the next "Fourth Reich" and another holocaust will happen because of those voters' ignorance.

First of all, quit with the "sky is falling" nonsense. It would not matter who won the White House because the losing side will kick up a stink about how bad this country is getting and it's all the fault of the current administration. Enough already.

Second, I'm not convinced we are headed for a socialist government. We still have the right to vote and if you don't like who is in office now, vote that person out at the next election. Just keep in mind, you are limited to who is running for office. Your son's algebra teacher may be a really terrific person, but if he/she is not running for political office, a vote for that person won't mean a hill of beans. If you don't like the selection, get in there yourself and run for office. You think you got what it takes, then let's see it. It's a free country and anyone can become President if he/she wants it bad enough.

A lot of flak has been made about free handouts to those who don't seemingly deserve it. I agree that the illegal immigrant situation is a sticky one and since my knowledge of it is rather limited, I will keep any opinions on this to myself. However, I caution those who are so tough on those immigrants - most of us came from someplace else. My ancestors came from England, Ireland, Prussia, and Germany. We settled in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Ohio, Illinois and Missouri. My family has been here since the early 1800's and it's only recently that my German side decided to keep the English and get rid of the German. As far as the handouts go, I challenge any one of these Americans to travel to another country with only the clothes on their backs, little money and education, and try to start a new life. Without a little help, it would be impossible. But go ahead, give it a try and let me know how well you do.

I agree that we have a much more divided country as far as monetary wealth. Seems the middle class is getting squeezed out by the wealthy. I have encountered this so much in my life that I often feel hopeless and wonder why I even bother. The things that used to be for the "every man" are no longer available. A baseball game used to be the family event of the summer - now it's the rich man's diversion. Not fair at all. Amusement parks and carnivals used to also be welcoming to everyone, now they are so overpriced that many cannot attend. Do I think the current administration can fix this? No. I believe that in order for change to happen, we must all accept the failings of our society and vow to make a change for the better. Corporate bigwigs should not be rewarded for failures and people in power should go without a few more perks. Those who have borne hardships should not have their efforts slapped in their faces by those who can just because they can. Not fair. Socialism is not the answer - we have all seen that. But a collective conscience of responsibility to our society, country, and world should be present and encouraged. Truthfully, this scenario of social responsibility really never has existed. Just look in your history books.

Many Americans have fought and died for our freedoms and this will remain the case for our country. Yes, the nay-sayers have the same freedom of expression as I do and thank God for that! However, please stop harassing me because you don't like the way I or someone else voted. The election is over - deal with it and move on with your life.

I don't know if the billions doled out in stimulus packages is going to work and I don't know if socialized medicine will work. All I do know is that things aren't working now, including me. Something must give. If you don't like the current proposals, you have the freedom to change them. I know I have that freedom and I'm not afraid to use it.

No Excuse for Physical Abuse

An article appeared on my local station's web site about Chris Brown apologizing for beating up his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna. In the article, Brown apologizes for his conduct, assures everyone he is getting counseling, and seems to want to change and be a better role model. Hmmm. How many of us women really buy this? How many have heard this before from other men?

I have been fortunate that my husband has never struck me nor ever intends to. First of all, if he even thought about it, he would find out that I hit back. Second, I can out-run him.

I remember when this story first came out in February. My daughter loved Chris Brown's music and was genuinely shocked that he would do such a thing. She immediately took the stance that Rihanna wasn't very nice anyway and deserved the beating because, supposedly, she gave him STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). In all fairness, there has been no proof of this allegation in any of the reports I have read. However, what truly shocked me was my 14-year old daughter's attitude that a woman deserved to be beaten by her boyfriend. I'm not sure where I went wrong here, but I made it clear to her that NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE BEATEN BY ANYONE.

My position should be clear - physical abuse is wrong. Now, I still support spanking a child to correct misbehavior, but physical abuse because you are mad is quite another thing. A relationship should be based on mutual trust and respect. Those two things do not come with slapping, choking, threats, or bashing a head into the wall.

What happened between Brown and Rihanna was shocking. Brown was wrong and should have controlled himself. Whatever Rihanna's personality is or was at that time is not a reason to beat her. I hope and pray that Brown is truly remorseful and sincere in his efforts to get help, but as a woman, I would never trust him ever again.

The Internship Experience

I just finished the fifth week of an amazing internship. Since I'm not sure of the consequences of revealing where I am, I will keep it quiet until otherwise told.

But I can tell you other stuff. Like having amazing challenges to my skills - I'm writing things that I only did in the classroom - only this is the real deal. And the really great thing is that the people I am working for actually like what I'm doing! I can think creatively and not feel like my ideas are going to be seen as inferior or looked at like I'm stupid. My ideas, good or bad, have a purpose now. I'm no longer sitting on the sidelines feeling twinges of jealousy because someone else had a fabulous idea that I wish I could have come up with. Now I'm an idea person and it's wonderful!

I've worked long enough to know that things won't always be this way. Someone will feel threatened by my ideas or mere existence and make my life miserable. Someone may steal my ideas and claim them for their own. I know.

But now, as I'm looking out over the bluffs along the Mississippi and watching a river roll by as it has done for thousands of years, I feel like I finally belong somewhere.

Now that I've shared my philosophical meanderings, I'll meander a little more.

The office I'm in is located along the Mississippi River and the view is magnificent! I've seen an eagle swoop by through the trees (at least I think it was an eagle - she didn't stop to introduce herself), a young beaver watched me eat my lunch from about a 100 yards away and he decided to take a nap on a concrete step. A mockingbird flew so close to me that I could see the gray and white detail of his feathers and hear his beautiful songs as clear as anything I have ever heard.

The river is a beautiful thing. I've lived close to it and crossed over it many times all my life and never really took the time to appreciate it. The flow of the currents are a balm to the spirit - easy to say from the shoreline.

The internship will draw to a close in two more weeks and I wish it would go on a little longer. Projects I have worked on still have not been completed and won't be for quite awhile. I would love to see my ideas come to fruition. My supervisor has promised to send me the finished products once they are completed. But I think the thing I have gained the most is the feeling that I can go out into the work world a little better educated and certainly more confident in my skills as a communicator.

I also want to hang around to see that little beaver grow up!

Motherhood - The Wisdom of Many

If every mother wrote a book on her experiences as a new mom, the books would fill the Library of Congress ten times over - I don't have stats to support this theory, it's just my opinion.

NBC's Today Show had a piece on parenthood from the show's anchors and it made for fairly interesting reading. The side piece on motherhood myths next to the article was particularly interesting because it reflected a few things I experienced and foolishly believed I was alone in my feelings. Wow! I'm normal afterall!

When I had my beautiful, handsome, brilliant, funny, exceptional baby boy 18 years ago, I spent days trying to nurse him only to find that this natural mothering thing was very painful and very difficult. All these years, I thought something was wrong with me - nice to know I'm not alone. Also, during the first few weeks after he was born, I would look out the window and wonder when his parents were coming to pick him up. This mom thing hadn't really kicked in until after about a month. A word of advice to all new moms - that adorable, soft, squishy, gurgly, bundle of cuteness eventually grows up to be a purple-haired, tatooed, body-pierced, loud teenager that you won't even recognize as having come out of your body. Ladies - you have been warned.

Do I feel like I'm a better mom than my own mother? That depends on the subject. I'm more involved in the kids' schooling than my parents ever thought about. Were they bad parents - not really. This parent involvement is a relatively new thing - my parents were never encouraged to be part of my school day except at parent/teacher conferences and even those were competitive events between the parents with money and the parents without. The money won, by the way; therefore, my parents were pretty much ignored by all my teachers.

I think I was more involved in my kids' lives when they were littler - seemed more important then. Not that it isn't important now that they are teenagers - if anything, they need me even more now. It's just they want more independence and they should have it. I'm luckier than some parents. I know where my kids are at night, I know who they run with, and I know their teachers by name.

Parenting isn't easy - its not supposed to be. That's what love is all about.

AIG Bailout, Bonuses, and Business As Usual

I've been trying to follow the latest events on the bonus debacle with AIG and our Treasury Department. With each new update, I try to glean accurate information and form an opinion that isn't based on utter rage. No luck there.

I really don't understand how AIG executives can accept these tax-payer provided bonuses and not feel a twinge of embarrassment. Oh, yea, I forgot, these guys are greedy pigs - they don't know how to feel shame.

My understanding of the purpose of a bonus is to reward an executive for doing a good job. For instance, if the company makes greater than X% profit for the year, you get a portion of it. That makes sense - reward for a good job.

Now these yahoos nearly drove the company into the ground and they are being rewarded for it! If we are rewarding incompetence, then sign me up to run GM or Chrysler. I'll be the first to tell you I haven't the faintest idea how to run any sized company, so it's a sure bet that I will make a mess of it. Make my bazillion dollar bonus check payable to me, Elizabeth Alexander, thank you.